read my mind.

FEATHERS SLASHED OUT OF THE PILLOW

2006-03-24T10:04:00.000+08:00

i feel so heavy.

but ironically, i feel light at the same time.
light-headed, i suppose.
so forgive me for my disorganized thoughts.

*************

"i guess you've heard, i guess you know,
IN TIME, i MIGHT HAVE TOLD YOU,
but i guess im too slow..

and it's OVERLY ROMANTIC,
BUT I KNOW THAT IT'S REAL
i hope you don't mind if i say what i feel.

It's like I'm in somebody else's dream,
This could not be happening to me.

But you were there, and you were everything I'd never seen.
You woke me up from this long and endless sleep.
I was alone.
I opened my eyes and you were there.

Don't be alarmed, no don't be concerned.
I DONT WANT TO CHANGE THINGS,
LEAVE THEM JUST AS THEY WERE.
I mean NOTHING's really different
IT'S ME who feel strange.
I'm always lost for words when someone mentions your name.
I know that I'LL GET OVER THIS, for sure
I'M NOT THE TYPE WHO DREAMS THERE COULD BE MORE

But you were there, and you were everything I'd never seen.
You woke me up from this long and endless sleep.
I was alone.
I opened my eyes and you were there.

Can I take your smile home with me,
or the magic in your hair?

The rain has stopped, the storm has passed
Look at all the colors now the sun's here at last.
i suppose that you'll be leaving, but i want you to know
PART OF YOU STAYS WITH ME EVEN AFTER YOU GO

Like an actor playing someone else's scene
This could not be happening to me.

But you were there, and you were everything I'd never seen.
You woke me up from this long and empty sleep.
I was alone.
I opened my eyes and no, I'm not alone, I'm not alone.
I opened my eyes and you were there.

*************

hayy, you.

now you know.

but what next?

i don't know.

do you?

*************

i am still in pain. im hurting. please Lord, make the pain go away. i might not be able to take it
anymore. i thought i could, because i should, but now that im here, right here, right now.. i feel like im falling apart. sometimes i just want to let gravity pull me down, to follow the current, to surrender. sometimes i want to fight it until im too far away from that pulling source, until i reach that point of freedom, where i can do anything i want, and be happy.

i want to fly, to soar.

"and i'll fly with you through the night
so you know i'm not letting go, i'm not letting go.."

but i AM letting you go.
the moment you knew, i decided to let go.
no, i decided to let you go WAY before that moment, but it was so hard because a part of me still
wanted to hold on. my emotions took over me, so letting you go seemed so impossible. so i dont
know, have i really let him go?

the pain is tearing me apart. it is excruciating, but i chose to bear it, and now there's no turning back.

empty. drained. total nothingness.
i lost everything, even my pride. my ego. nothing was left for me.

that is the problem with loving too much, when you give your everything to that person, and you suddenly realize that you forgot to leave some for yourself. in my case, kahit pride ko nalang sana yung matira, pero hindi e, binigay ko parin sa kanya.

ayan tuloy, hindi ko alam kung pano pupulutin sarili ko.
i can't do it alone, i need someone to help me.. but who?
HIM?
no, i'd rather not ask him.

suddenly, i want to run. i feel like it.
i want to run as fast as i can, and farther than what my eyes can travel. i want to run, but i don't want to get bruised.. i've had enough bruises and cuts. i don't want to end up debilitated.

i want to be in some place that's far away, somewhere out of sight,
but not out of reach.

and i want to throw up.
i want to draw out this certain thing inside me that hinders me from being okay. but i dont want to go through the pain-- the dizziness, stomachaches, and the crying-- that precedes and follows it.

because im sick and tired of hurting. im sick of it! SO SICK OF IT!
but how can i get out of this, when it was me who decided to feel all of this in the first place?
who's to blame but me?

"is it enough to love, is it enough to breathe?
somebody rip my heart out and leave me here to bleed.
is it enough to die, somebody save my life!"

The pain just won't stop right now, but it will, i know. it may be a slow process, but i dont care, as long as i get there.

"He is in deed a dream. A dream i never wish to end. I am
holding on to that dream that is why i wouldnt want
to let go yet, but holding on for as long as i can
DOESN'T MEAN I'LL BE HOLDING ON FOREVER."

************

i have a MATH MAJOR friend who came up with an equation:
love=proximity*frequency.

reminds me of someone who once told me, "we'd still be the same,
although we'd be lessening the intimacy and the frequency."

so does it mean we're lessening love?
so it WAS love between us?

oh hell yeah, that's love.
FRIENDLY LOVE.
ano ba aisha, ano bang hindi mo maintindihan?!

kasi naman si Neal eh, hindi specific ang LOVE sa equation mo! bagsak ka na sa MATH!!!
(hey, mamimiss ka namin nila DANIE at JAM pag umalis ka na papuntang AUSTRALIA, which is like, today na?! tol di ka namin makakalimutan.)

************

on second thought, he hasn't took everything away from me yet. not yet.
i still have two things left.

i still have HOPE and LOVE.

"someday,
someone will walk into your life and make you realize
why love never worked out with anyone else."

now, that's a good one to start with.

on the eve of History Finals

2006-03-20T23:45:00.000+08:00

im still thinking of you.

but i feel so much like a bitch.

tama si nadine, im like that slutty N###y..
nang aagaw ng hindi naman dapat sakin..
pinipilit na maging sentro ng buhay niya..

e hindi naman.

pero kelan ba ko magiging masaya..?
don't i deserve to be happy too?
why can't i, for once, be loved back by the one i love?
why do i always find someone better than me,
even if im not competing with her?

why do you think it's better to remain unnoticed than
to be in your place? what is it that you're experiencing
that's so unfortunate?
what could be better in this world that to be loved
by him? what else?

im trying to be happy for you, but you dont want to
be happy for yourself, and i just dont get it.

love will never be equal between two people.
somebody always loves more, maybe it's you,
but what the heck? who cares?
that's the unselfishness of love, giving up everything,
not expecting anything..
but somehow still gaining everything.

that is happiness.
that is love.

"I don't have to see myself in his eyes just as long as he sees himself in mine.
I don't have to frown when i know his smiles weren't mine just as long as i am smiling because of him and he knows it."

so what are you going nuts about?
say it, get out of your shell.

it's better to regret having done something
than to regret you've been such a coward not to have done it at all.

girl, i hope you chose to do something,
because for you i chose to do nothing.

sadness

2006-01-26T23:02:00.000+08:00

my come-back post.. so sad. i hope my next post would have a happier tone.

I could still remember yesterday
We were so in love in a special (er, friendly) way
And knowing that you love me
Makes me feel oh so right...
But now I feel lost
Don't know what to do
Each and everyday I think of you (yes, i do)
Holding back the tears (can't seem to!)
I'm trying with all my might...

Because you're gonna leave me standing all alone
And I know I've got to face tomorrow on my own (bitter truth)
But baby before I let you go
I want to say I love you
I hope that you're listening coz it's true
You'll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do
So before I let you go I want to say
I love you... (i do, i do, i do!)

Letting you go is never easy
But I love you so
That's why I'll set you free, yeah
And I know, someday, somehow,I'll find the way
To leave them all behind me
Give it all beneath to keep it baby

it's so absurd to say, or even think, that you want to let go of someone who was never really yours. to give him away when u never had him. if you had him even for a while, it wouldn't hurt as much as it would if you never did. hayy, the pains of life. after so much happiness, you'd be wishing you were dead than experiencing life's harshness that comes after it..

assuming.. how could one NOT assume? when he tells you things that melt your heart and make it pump more blood faster than ever, when he seems to be always right on time to comfort you, to laugh with you, to cry with you, too boost you up... how CAN'T you wonder if he likes you too? when it seems so obvious? and then reality slaps your face: that's just the way he is. that's just how nice he is. that's just how charming he is. that's just how perfect he is. after knowing how ideal he is, how could you NOT fall??

coz you're everywhere to me
and when i close my eyes

it's you i see

you're everything i know that makes me believe
i'm not alone..

you're in everyone i see
so tell me..
DO YOU SEE ME?

ayoko na maging martyr! it sucks. im turning 20 in a few months and i never felt that my love was reciprocated, ever. i keep on falling for men who just won't like me. ayan nanaman ako sa self-pity mode ko. mana nga ako sa nanay ko! ayoko naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :'(

this is soooooooooooo sad.

harry potter

2005-10-13T11:54:00.000+08:00

im such a loser. i've just finished with harry potter 6. to think i was so excited about it! hayy. busy, busy, busy. i'm glad i even found time to blog today!

anyway... retribution! para sa mga hindi pa nakakabasa ng HP6:

DUMBLEDORE's DEAD!!!

haha. don't deny it. you can't have missed the bold letters! ganyan din ang nangyari sakin. heard of the news before i even laid my hands on the book. but then when i said to the person that she really got me pissed off, she said it was just a joke. and so, i believed. but then.. my history professor blurted it out in class!!! he went "but then Dumbledore's dead now so... ooops, maybe i shouldn't have said that." gyaaaa!!! kung hindi ka lang cute, sir!!!!

hmm. i agree with calai's post <<http://calaidescope.blogspot.com>> that there might be some switching going on, Snape being transfigured as Dumbledore and vise-versa.. well maybe i'm also still in a state of shock knowing Dumbledore's really dead.. but some things somehow contradict my theory..

i believe it was really Dumbledore, and not Snape-as-Dumbledore, who was touched (teary-eyed, to be specific) with what Harry admitting to Scrimgeour that he is "Dumbledore's man through and through". Do you even think a Death Eater is still capable of feeling so.. human???
Dumbledore never liked the "darkness" of the Dark Arts, especially the killing part of it, so why would he-as-Snape KILL Snape-as-Dumbledore, if he TRUSTED Snape so much? Why use the Avada Kedavra curse on someone you trust?

TO BE CONTINUED.. may practice pa kami ng band!

doom

2005-07-04T23:54:00.000+08:00

i'm in a dilemma.

i knew it.

2005-05-23T21:59:00.000+08:00

been doing the same mistake all over again. i've misinterpreted and have misunderstood. nanay's right. i never learn.

pero bakit kaya ganun?

2005-05-22T00:28:00.000+08:00

bakit nga ba ganun. pag nakikita ko siya hindi ko naman magawang malungkot. masaya parin ako pag alam kong nasa anjan siya malapit sa akin. only in my solitude does everything sink in. tulad ngayon. pero talagang tuwing maririnig ko ang boses niya, makita ko yung shadow niya, ok na ko. i can already call my day A day. just a little of 'him' that enters my senses seem to secure me. ahh. i want him to know that. gusto ko malaman niya kasi gusto kong maging aware siya sa gravity ng nararamdaman ko, hindi dahil gusto kong ireturn niya sakin yung love ko. gusto ko lang talaga. well maybe there's this selfish feeling na i want him to regard me as someone important dahil lalong importante siya para sakin. gets? parang nakarelate ako dun sa isang post sa www.postsecret.blogspot.com (check it out, maganda), sabi niya, 'i really love him, but i just can't say it'. hayyy. kahit parang napapagod nako sa mga nangyayari, hindi ako magpapadala. ayoko magpadala. bakit? kasi gusto ko tong nararamdaman ko. gusto ko na mahal ko siya, kahit ano pang consequence. kaya nga everytime nalang na makita ko siya talagang nakakalimutan ko na in love siya sa isang kaibigan ko. nakakalimutan ko na sa pagiisa ko at naiisip ko sila, sobrang nasasaktan ako. yun talaga yung effect niya sa akin. euphoria. mania pa nga. kakatakot ako noh? im getting psychotic. maybe ganito talaga ang feeling ng in-love.
pero just like any human, gusto ko rin naman na maramdaman na mabalik yung pakiramdam na binibigay ko kay.. sa kanya. pero sa mga circumstances ngayon eh mukhang imposible na sa kanya ko makuha yung hinahanap ko na Need. parang sa sinabi ni Father of Modern Psychology Carl Jung, ang goal ng tao ay makahanap ng WHOLENESS, at si Maslow naman sabi niya na goal din natin ang SELF ACTUALIZATION, i'll need someone to COMPLETE ME. kaya naman ngayong merong someone akong GUSTO [emphasis mine] na nagpaparamdam din sa akin, hindi ko na isasara yung opportunity.. sana lang gusto niya talaga ako at hindi ko lang namimisinterpret yung mga sinasabi niya.
naku antok nako. wala na akong sense.

heavy, pare, inuman tayo.

2005-05-10T09:10:00.000+08:00

bakit ganun? ang lungkot lungkot ng buhay. i feel so ugly. i feel so useless. i feel very much unlikeable. why??? can't i ever be good enough for you? im so near, just under your nose!
superficiality sucks. why are most men like that? why are YOU like that? i've found out to myself that there's no point in questioning, after all, i have accepted him wholly, his flaws and strengths combined. but there's nothing wrong with asking WHY, right?
i want to feel loved by him. but how can i control things that are way beyond my control? i've never even had a second of his attention and still i keep on rambling to myself.
eto naman kasi akong si gaga, umaasa na SOMEDAY, baka lang, magustuhan niya ako. i've made a fool out of myself, dreaming up for things that are so obviously impossible. i come to realize im the one to blame. he never showed me any signs of interest, i just thought, or maybe assumed, that he did. it was my fault to fantasize that after telling him how i feel for him, things would be up, romantically, for the both of us. NINCOMPOOP! just the exact word to describe myself. a fool. a moron. an idiot. a born LOSER. after keeping my hopes up in the skies for him, i fall onto the thick slick mud, face first, every organ in my anatomy scattered all over the ground. i'm so stupid.
ahh!! why did i believe what paulo coelho said in his book? a reason why i had my hopes up was because 'By The River Piedra..' said that if you really LOVE, you never lose hope. but now it seems i should not believe everything i read. it only applies to selected people. imbecile aisha thought she was one of them. poor me. now i have to find a way to pick myself up again. help.

now im feeling these songs. :(

OUT OF REACH By Gabrielle

Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool

So confused, my heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn't see
We were never meant to be

Catch myself from despair
I could drown if I stay here
Keeping busy every day
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused, my heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn't see
We were never meant to be

So much hurt, so much pain
Takes a while to regain what is lost inside
And I hope that in time, you'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm
So confused, my heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn't see
We were never meant to be

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there for me

************************************************

BROKEN SONNET By Hale

And now I concede on the night of this 15th song
Of melancholy, of melancholy
And now I will admit in this 4th line
That I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU.
I don’t care what they say
I don’t care what they do

‘Cause tonight I’ll leave my fears behind
‘Cause tonight I’ll be right at your side.
Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And I will never let go
Will never let go.

The clock on the TV says 8:39 PM
It’s the same, it’s the same
And in this next line I’ll say it all over again
That I love you, I love you.
I don’t care what they say
I don’t care what they do

‘Cause tonight I’ll leave my fears behind
‘Cause tonight I’ll be right at your side.
Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And I will never let go
Will never let go.

I’ll leave my fears behind
‘Cause tonight I’ll be right at your side.

Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And I will never let go
Will never let go.

But still I see the tears from your eyes
Maybe I’m just not the one for you...

so near yet so far

2005-03-13T12:00:00.000+08:00

marami akong kilala na currently dumadaan sa ganitong situation. so near yet so far. usong uso talaga ang mga martyr ngayon. may case-to-case basis pa nga itong 'reality' na ito eh. merong so near, as in physically ang lapit lapit nyo na, pati emotionally dahil pareho kayo ng nararamdaman para sa isa't isa, pero still so far dahil sa napaka-cliche na HINDI KASI PWEDE. or hindi PA pwede. pero at least there's always sparkling hope between the two hearts that are patiently waiting. yung isa pang case, so near, dahil parati mo siyang nakikita, or may moments na talagang magkausap kayo, and you feel so much love for him, pero he's so FAR kasi you definitely know that he doesn't have anything more to offer you but the friendship. nothing more than that.. as much as you try to reach him, lumalayo siya (literal ng FAR diba), or he may UNintentionally make you feel unwanted.. yep that's the word, UNWANTED.. itong case na to, wala nang hope.. walang point na maghintay, kasi wala namang hinihintay. pero as much as gustuhin mong tumigil maghintay at tumigil na mahalin siya, meron at meron siyang gagawin na makakapagpalambot sayo, kahit todo effort ka na sa pag-iwas, sa pagpipigil na i-appreciate ang mga so-beautiful-yet-so-simple-things na again, UNintentionally niyang ginagawa. as much as you try to look away, to find someone new, to try to look for just someone new, you end up looking for HIM in other people's personalities. nagugustuhan mo yung ibang tao, tas nare-realize mo na kaya mo pala sila gusto kasi "pareho sila ng smile", "ganun din siya tumingin", "pareho sila ng ugali". parati nalang may resemblance niya. in the end, hinahanap mo nanaman siya. eh paano ka nga naman makaka move-on diba kung everything you see and do reminds you of him? haha, obvious namang i'm experiencing this 2nd case of 'so near yet so far'.. ang nakakainis dito, nasasaktan ka kapag nababalitaan mong may kasama siyang iba, eh alam mo namang wala kang karapatan.. tas nagagalit ka sa kasama niya kahit alam mong kaibigan mo at alam mong hindi naman dapat magalit. sobrang nasasaktan ka, pero sa sarili mo lang. hindi pwedeng ilabas, kasi hindi lang talaga pwede.. cliche nanaman..
so i practically have no choice but continue on loving him by myself kasi dun at dun din ang punta ko eh.. parang cycle lang siya.. love unrequitedly.. get hurt.. try to get over him and turn away.. look for someone or something to get preoccupied with.. everyone and everything reminds you of him.. cry.. love him again. is there no better cycle?
self-pity is eating me. can't stop.

sabi nga ni eddie vedder, "i'm still alive"

2005-03-05T01:09:00.000+08:00

kahapon, March 3, 2005, 7:45am sa gitna ng Manggahan Bridge (Floodway) at 95kph (estimate ko lang yun), nawalan ng brakes at namatay ang makina ng jeep na sinasakyan ko. mga 4 seconds before crash, sinabi nung driver samin na "wala na tayong preno". so siyempre todo kapit kami sa hawakan ng jeep. super bilis ng mga pangyayari, basta, bumangga kami sa pader ng sobrang lakas, as in SOBRA, tumilapon ako from sa inuupuan ko sa entrance ng jeep hanggang sa sahig sa medyo harap. ang damages sakin: nagkaron ako sa right middle finger ng deep cut, tas mga pasa sa arms and legs, napilay pa nga ang pwet ko (dun ko lang nadiscover na napipilay pala ang pwet!!!) hindi naman ako gaanong nasaktan although ako lang ata ang minalas na nainjure dun na pasahero e. but wait, hindi ako injured compared dun sa mama na nabangga namin sa pader. pagkababa ko ng jeep nakita ko siya. grabe, hindi nga nagdugo yung legs niya, pero alam kong durog na mga buto niya. lupaypay nga siya eh, nasa state of shock pa nga. tapos, meron din pala kaming nakabanggang kotse. TOTAL WRECK yung nangyari dun, miraculously hindi nasaktan yung driver nun. pero yung driver ng jeep, hindi makaalis dun sa jeep kasi naipit siya dun, sa sobrang lakas ng impact ng collision. nung makita ko nga yung tumutulo na gas nung kotse, napatakbo agad ako eh, kasi posibleng sumabog yun kapag may nagspark sa mga wires sa ilalim ng kotse o kaya pag may nagbato ng sigarilyo dun.

mga tumakbo sa isip ko habang nanginginig sa takot at umiiyak sa jeep na sinakyan ko pagkatapos ng accident:

1. muntik na ko mamatay.

kung nagpanic yung driver, baka nahulog pa kami sa tulay. tas malulunod ako sa maduming ilog na yun, tas lulutang with the flower lilies.
kung tulog ako sa jeep (which is araw araw nangyayari), baka tumilapon nako sa labas, masasagasaan pa ako. hindi na talaga ako nagising. (lalo na nung araw na yon, hindi ako natulog dahil sa projects at assignments)

2. hindi pa ako handang mamatay.

galit pa sakin mga magulang ko eh. di matatahimik kaluluwa ko nun, hindi pa ako nakakapag sorry at di ko pa nasasabi kung gano ko sila kamahal. kaya nga ngayon kakausapin ko na sila eh, or at least, kahit nanay ko lang muna.
sa tingin ko wala pa akong nagagawang difference sa mundo. gusto ko kahit maliit na difference lang, makaapekto ako sa ibang tao in a good way.
ayoko pang malayo sa inyong mga friends ko!Ü maraming taon pa tayong magsasama!Ü
ayokong mamatay ng ganun, yung sa aksidente. yung lasog lasog yung katawan ko o kaya yung bloated ako if ever nalunod ako sa ilog!takot ako sa feeling ng transition between life and death e.

Over reacting ba? sorryü

Grabe, todo pasasalamat ko kay Lord kahapon nung Holy Hour. Hindi Niya ako pinabayaan! May angel siguro siyang pinadala sa amin nung accident kaya wala fatalities. Thank You Lord!

motto ko ngayon: LIVE LIFE TO ITS FULLEST.ü looking forward to spend more years with all of you!!!Ü

MAHAL KO KAYONG LAHAT!!!Ü GOD BLESS US ALL!!!ÜÜÜ

nauseous

2005-02-27T00:00:00.000+08:00

hay Lord, ano pa bang kailangan ko gawin?
sinunod ko na sila, hindi na ko magwa YFC, pero bakit andami paring reklamo?
gusto po ba nila na hindi ko na makita mga kaibigan ko?
nag jogging lang kami Lord, tas konting softball. bawal parin bang maglaro?
kumain kami ng breakfast while having a few laughs, ok lang naman po siguro kumain at tumawa noh?
11am po ako nakauwi. maaga naman po diba? not like my 9pm glee club.

all work and no play makes aisha a monster.
grabe Lord, they are being irrational.
as much as im striving hard to understand them, i still cant.
whaaa. i cant believe it. BAWAL MAGJOGGING??!!!
according to my overly sensitive mother, i am AGAIN defying her.
DEFY, DEFY. she's been sooo attached to that word for weeks already.
hayyyy. witness ko si Lord, nagpaalam ako kay lola.
i said that to nanay, but she said that i couldve told her last night about the 'jogging'.
how was i supposed to talk to her? she knew that i was so preoccupied with doing homework last night.
so still, she says: you are DEFYING me.
oooh, i've had enough of that word. it makes me sick.
then she suddenly says: wag ka nang mag aral kung ganyan ka!
what the....?!!!what does studying have to do with jogging, softball, and eating breakfast?
then she says again that i should've just cleaned the house.
okay, point taken. but do i really clean the house? honestly?
you know me well enough to know that the answer's NO.IF i didnt jog with my friends, i wouldnt clean, no, not at all.
cleaning wouldnt even cross my mind.
during THAT early time in the morning, i wouldnt even be up yet! i would just sleep. til 11am. just about time when i had arrived from jogging. or maybe til 1pm.
DEFINITELY LESS PRODUCTIVE THAN JOGGING. i know you're getting my point, so stop thinking that i did something wrong (youre just like my mom, FAULTFINDER!).
dont suck life away from me.
so what do i do now?! just accept the wrong judgements my LOVING parents give me? HELL NO!!!!!
anybody open to the idea of ADOPTION? i'm willing. just get me outta this hell.
*****************************************************
i've just given JEN my responsibility being a chapter head. i'm feeling so guilty coz i feel like im leaving her with so much burden, especially now that ILC's coming and i should be collecting payments to meet tomorrow's deadline. as much as i would want to help, my FREAKY parents just won't let me. Grrrrr.

F*** YOU THIEF!!!!!

2005-02-25T09:43:00.000+08:00

to my DEAR mandurukot, hustler, mandarambong, magnanakaw, mangungupit, lahat pa ng ibang terms na mag dedescribe sa taong nangunguha ng gamit ng iba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ang sama ng ugali mo!!!! grrr!!! bakit ba parati mo nalang ako tinitira??!!!! IBALIK MO NA CELFONE KO!!!! PARANG AWA MO NA!!! hindi pa nga yan fully paid sa credit card tas kinuha mo na!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yung ni record kong kanta ni alicia keys nung concert niya nanjan!!!! chaka mga pictures ng mga pinakamamahal kong kaibigan!!!! chaka ng mga hamsters!!!! chaka pretty pictures ko!!!!!!!!!! chaka mga messages ng mga magulang ko at mga kaibigan ko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hwaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! have a heart naman!!!!!!!!!! kunin mo nalang wallet ko basta ibalik mo lang yang celfone ko!!!!!!!! gusto mo ulit kunin ID ko?!!!! sige, eto o may bago ako!!!!!!!!!!! sige na ibalik mo na pls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu... :'c

the nightingale and the rose

2005-02-23T10:47:00.000+08:00

we read this beautiful short story in literature class. i'd like to share it with you. it's sort of a 5-minute read.
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She said that she would dance with me if I brought her red roses," cried the young Student; "but in all my garden there is no red rose."
From her nest in the holm-oak tree the Nightingale heard him, and she looked out through the leaves, and wondered.
"No red rose in all my garden!" he cried, and his beautiful eyes filled with tears. "Ah, on what little things does happiness depend! I have read all that the wise men have written, and all the secrets of philosophy are mine, yet for want of a red rose is my life made wretched."
"Here at last is a true lover," said the Nightingale. "Night after night have I sung of him, though I knew him not: night after night have I told his story to the stars, and now I see him. His hair is dark as the hyacinth-blossom, and his lips are red as the rose of his desire; but passion has made his face like pale ivory, and sorrow has set her seal upon his brow."
"The Prince gives a ball tomorrow night," murmured the young Student, "and my love will be of the company. If I bring her a red rose she will dance with me till dawn. If I bring her a red rose, I shall hold her in my arms, and she will lean her head upon my shoulder, and her hand will be clasped in mine. But there is no red rose in my garden, so I shall sit lonely, and she will pass me by. She will have no heed of me, and my heart will break."
"Here indeed is the true lover," said the Nightingale. "What I sing of, he suffers what is joy to me, to him is pain. Surely Love is a wonderful thing. It is more precious than emeralds, and dearer than fine opals. Pearls and pomegranates cannot buy it, nor is it set forth in the marketplace. It may not be purchased of the merchants, nor can it be weighed out in the balance for gold."
"The musicians will sit in their gallery," said the young Student, "and play upon their stringed instruments, and my love will dance to the sound of the harp and the violin. She will dance so lightly that her feet will not touch the floor, and the courtiers in their gay dresses will throng round her. But with me she will not dance, for I have no red rose to give her"; and he flung himself down on the grass, and buried his face in his hands, and wept.
"Why is he weeping?" asked a little Green Lizard, as he ran past him with his tail in the air.
"Why, indeed?" said a Butterfly, who was fluttering about after a sunbeam.
"Why, indeed?" whispered a Daisy to his neighbour, in a soft, low voice.
"He is weeping for a red rose," said the Nightingale.
"For a red rose?" they cried; "how very ridiculous!" and the little Lizard, who was something of a cynic, laughed outright.
But the Nightingale understood the secret of the Student's sorrow, and she sat silent in the oak-tree, and thought about the mystery of Love.
Suddenly she spread her brown wings for flight, and soared into the air. She passed through the grove like a shadow, and like a shadow she sailed across the garden.
In the centre of the grass-plot was standing a beautiful Rose-tree, and when she saw it she flew over to it, and lit upon a spray.
"Give me a red rose," she cried, "and I will sing you my sweetest song."
But the Tree shook its head.
"My roses are white," it answered; "as white as the foam of the sea, and whiter than the snow upon the mountain. But go to my brother who grows round the old sun-dial, and perhaps he will give you what you want."
So the Nightingale flew over to the Rose-tree that was growing round the old sun-dial.
"Give me a red rose," she cried, "and I will sing you my sweetest song."
But the Tree shook its head.
"My roses are yellow," it answered; "as yellow as the hair of the mermaiden who sits upon an amber throne, and yellower than the daffodil that blooms in the meadow before the mower comes with his scythe. But go to my brother who grows beneath the Student's window, and perhaps he will give you what you want."
So the Nightingale flew over to the Rose-tree that was growing beneath the Student's window.
"Give me a red rose," she cried, "and I will sing you my sweetest song."
But the Tree shook its head.
"My roses are red," it answered, "as red as the feet of the dove, and redder than the great fans of coral that wave and wave in the ocean-cavern. But the winter has chilled my veins, and the frost has nipped my buds, and the storm has broken my branches, and I shall have no roses at all this year."
"One red rose is all I want," cried the Nightingale, "only one red rose! Is there no way by which I can get it?"
"There is away," answered the Tree; "but it is so terrible that I dare not tell it to you."
"Tell it to me," said the Nightingale, "I am not afraid."
"If you want a red rose," said the Tree, "you must build it out of music by moonlight, and stain it with your own heart's-blood. You must sing to me with your breast against a thorn. All night long you must sing to me, and the thorn must pierce your heart, and your life-blood must flow into my veins, and become mine."
"Death is a great price to pay for a red rose," cried the Nightingale, "and Life is very dear to all. It is pleasant to sit in the green wood, and to watch the Sun in his chariot of gold, and the Moon in her chariot of pearl. Sweet is the scent of the hawthorn, and sweet are the bluebells that hide in the valley, and the heather that blows on the hill. Yet Love is better than Life, and what is the heart of a bird compared to the heart of a man?"
So she spread her brown wings for flight, and soared into the air. She swept over the garden like a shadow, and like a shadow she sailed through the grove.
The young Student was still lying on the grass, where she had left him, and the tears were not yet dry in his beautiful eyes.
"Be happy," cried the Nightingale, "be happy; you shall have your red rose. I will build it out of music by moonlight, and stain it with my own heart's-blood. All that I ask of you in return is that you will be a true lover, for Love is wiser than Philosophy, though she is wise, and mightier than Power, though he is mighty. Flame-coloured are his wings, and coloured like flame is his body. His lips are sweet as honey, and his breath is like frankincense."
The Student looked up from the grass, and listened, but he could not understand what the Nightingale was saying to him, for he only knew the things that are written down in books.
But the Oak-tree understood, and felt sad, for he was very fond of the little Nightingale who had built her nest in his branches.
"Sing me one last song," he whispered; "I shall feel very lonely when you are gone."
So the Nightingale sang to the Oak-tree, and her voice was like water bubbling from a silver jar.
When she had finished her song the Student got up, and pulled a note-book and a lead-pencil out of his pocket.
"She has form," he said to himself, as he walked away through the grove "that cannot be denied to her; but has she got feeling? I am afraid not. In fact, she is like most artists; she is all style, without any sincerity. She would not sacrifice herself for others. She thinks merely of music, and everybody knows that the arts are selfish. Still, it must be admitted that she has some beautiful notes in her voice. What a pity it is that they do not mean anything, or do any practical good." And he went into his room, and lay down on his little pallet-bed, and began to think of his love; and, after a time, he fell asleep.
And when the Moon shone in the heavens the Nightingale flew to the Rose-tree, and set her breast against the thorn. All night long she sang with her breast against the thorn, and the cold crystal Moon leaned down and listened. All night long she sang, and the thorn went deeper and deeper into her breast, and her life-blood ebbed away from her.
She sang first of the birth of love in the heart of a boy and a girl. And on the top-most spray of the Rose-tree there blossomed a marvellous rose, petal following petal, as song followed song. Pale was it, at first, as the mist that hangs over the river pale as the feet of the morning, and silver as the wings of the dawn. As the shadow of a rose in a mirror of silver, as the shadow of a rose in a water-pool, so was the rose that blossomed on the topmost spray of the Tree.
But the Tree cried to the Nightingale to press closer against the thorn. "Press closer, little Nightingale," cried the Tree, "or the Day will come before the rose is finished."
So the Nightingale pressed closer against the thorn, and louder and louder grew her song, for she sang of the birth of passion in the soul of a man and a maid.
And a delicate flush of pink came into the leaves of the rose, like the flush in the face of the bridegroom when he kisses the lips of the bride. But the thorn had not yet reached her heart, so the rose's heart remained white, for only a Nightingale's heart's-blood can crimson the heart of a rose.
And the Tree cried to the Nightingale to press closer against the thorn. "Press closer, little Nightingale," cried the Tree, "or the Day will come before the rose is finished."
So the Nightingale pressed closer against the thorn, and the thorn touched her heart, and a fierce pang of pain shot through her. Bitter, bitter was the pain, and wilder and wilder grew her song, for she sang of the Love that is perfected by Death, of the Love that dies not in the tomb.
And the marvellous rose became crimson, like the rose of the eastern sky. Crimson was the girdle of petals, and crimson as a ruby was the heart.
But the Nightingale's voice grew fainter, and her little wings began to beat, and a film came over her eyes. Fainter and fainter grew her song, and she felt something choking her in her throat.
Then she gave one last burst of music. The white Moon heard it, and she forgot the dawn, and lingered on in the sky. The red rose heard it, and it trembled all over with ecstasy, and opened its petals to the cold morning air. Echo bore it to her purple cavern in the hills, and woke the sleeping shepherds from their dreams. It floated through the reeds of the river, and they carried its message to the sea.
"Look, look!" cried the Tree, "the rose is finished now"; but the Nightingale made no answer, for she was lying dead in the long grass, with the thorn in her heart.
And at noon the Student opened his window and looked out.
"Why, what a wonderful piece of luck!" he cried; "here is a red rose! I have never seen any rose like it in all my life. It is so beautiful that I am sure it has a long Latin name"; and he leaned down and plucked it.
Then he put on his hat, and ran up to the Professor's house with the rose in his hand.
The daughter of the Professor was sitting in the doorway winding blue silk on a reel, and her little dog was lying at her feet.
"You said that you would dance with me if I brought you a red rose," cried the Student. "Here is the reddest rose in all the world. You will wear it tonight next your heart, and as we dance together it will tell you how I love you."
But the girl frowned.
"I am afraid it will not go with my dress," she answered; "and, besides, the Chamberlain's nephew has sent me some real jewels, and everybody knows that jewels cost far more than flowers."
"Well, upon my word, you are very ungrateful," said the Student angrily; and he threw the rose into the street, where it fell into the gutter, and a cart-wheel went over it.
"Ungrateful!" said the girl. "I tell you what, you are very rude; and, after all, who are you? Only a Student. Why, I don't believe you have even got silver buckles to your shoes as the Chamberlain's nephew has"; and she got up from her chair and went into the house.
"What I a silly thing Love is," said the Student as he walked away. "It is not half as useful as Logic, for it does not prove anything, and it is always telling one of things that are not going to happen, and making one believe things that are not true. In fact, it is quite unpractical, and, as in this age to be practical is everything, I shall go back to Philosophy and study Metaphysics."
So he returned to his room and pulled out a great dusty book, and began to read.
*********************************
hayy, see what love can do? love requires sacrifices. love endures pain. naiyak ako sa story na to eh, kawawa naman yung nightingale.
i feel for the nightingale. it's like letting go of your love for a certain person na may mahal ng iba, making a way for him to be happy sa taong mahal niya. kahit pa hindi ma recognize ng mahal niya yung sacrifices na ginawa niya.
pero pag malaman ko lang na tinake for granted lang siya ng girl na gusto nya tulad ng sa story, nako lang!!! tutukain ko to death yung babaeng yun!!!
hayy, i hope na yung guy, hindi siya unfeeling and insensitive tulad ng student. sana malaman niya na ang love ay hindi lang superficial.

hwaaaattt??!!! kung anu ano na ang sinasabi ko!Ü

stagnant. no progress. my life's fading away.

2005-02-23T10:43:00.000+08:00

not in the mood. good Lord please help me.

problems, problems,, they're everywhere. why can't there be just NO problems?

can someone please, just lecture me about family.

LORD, WE NEED YOU.

2005-02-21T22:43:00.000+08:00

we praise you Jesus Christ, we glorify Your Name. we magnify You, we give You praise. Allelluia. You are our King, our Master, our Everything. We lift Your Name on high. we Love you, Lord. without You, we are nothing.

thank You Lord, for blessing us with each other. thank You, Lord, we are in loss of words.

our cluster's having quite a hard time right now. we are willingly accepting whatever challenges You are giving us now for we know that in Your Masterplan, everything is good.

may we just ask You for Your guidance, that we may follow the path that You have prepared for us. we also humbly ask for Your protection, that we may not cause further pain and burden to each other, and that we may overcome the temptations of Satan.

we have been standing up for You, Lord, but now we are shaken by certain problems, and we will definitely falter without Your presence in our hearts. Please, continue to reign within us, and overpower the evil that might harm us.

we believe that You will not forsake us, Lord. we love each other, God, although above all is our love for You.

we ask all of these in Jesus Christ's name.

Amen.

thoughts. thoughts. thoughts. just for today.

2005-02-09T08:38:00.000+08:00

as of this moment, i am in urgent need of a boyfriend.

gusto ko maexperience yung tinatawag nilang "ROMANTIC LOVE". yung two-way, give and take relationship, ayoko na ng parating one way. sawa na ako. although not really. i still love him, but i'm not expecting anymore. just hoping. love without hope is never love at all.
going back, i need a boyfriend. i mean, i need A BOYFRIEND. no specifics, just someone who'll play that role for me. someone who's literally there, someone who won't go, just there beside me. i am in dire need of company. regular company. i'm not saying i'm not enjoying my bestfriends' company, i just think that having a boyfriend is really different.
and now i blame the glee club for making me feel this way. we've been rehearsing totally mushy love songs for more than a month now, for our upcoming concert on friday. songs like "kay tagal", "sana maulit muli", "minsan pa".. they dig in deep like hell. the more i sing, the more i get hit, and all the more my 'desperation' grows. eek. maybe you're thinking that i'm liking the feeling, fyi, i'm not.
if i had a genie i would definitely ask for a boyfriend. i feel so empty without one, although i shouldnt be feeling this way. i dunno, it's just that i see my friends' lives progressing 'romantically', and they seem so happy to me.
i think im gonna be single forever. no one's gonna attempt to court me and i'll become an old maid. oh no. before, i imagined myself to be single forever, and i liked the thought of it, but eversince i became a YFC my way of thinking was changed, and i suddenly wanted to have a family of my own. i never anticipated back then that being single would be THIS lonely.
yeah, yeah, i know i'm still young and all to think of "single-blessedness" and marriage and family, and it's sort of "FAR from the NEARest future", and that things can change and happen in just days or even seconds.. pero ewan ko. it sort of matters to me this time. at this very moment. pero most probably mamaya iba na ang nasa utak ko.
what's wrong with me ba? am i really not like-able? or does it all really go down to physical attraction? ganun na ba talaga ang mga lalaki ngayon? parati nalang nakatingin sa physical attributes ng babae? napaka superficial? yun nalang ba ang tingin ng men sa women? just mere beautiful items? not even paying attention to what's within? nako ibang issue na to. pang next entry sa blogÜ
clarification: i am absolutely NOT LOOKING for a boyfriend. i am just recognizing my need for one right now. i may not need a boyfriend later.Ü

watch our valentine concert!!!Ü

2005-02-08T23:24:00.000+08:00

click on the thumbnail for further details. u can buy tickets from me, it's only for 50 pesos. comment if interested. thanks.Ü

zzzzzzzzz....

2005-02-06T10:09:00.000+08:00

inaantok ako.. ang aga ko kasi nagising kanina, si peds kc eh. 4am ba naman ako gnising. anyway i had fun jogging with him, deo, joy, jeba, bugs and gino naman eh. in fairness kinaya ko na magising ah! the heavy exercise induced my monthly period. yeah. it's not even monthly. like twice-a- yearly. i'm definitely abnormal!!Ü ...di ko nakumpleto ang isang lap eh, mga 2/3 palang ng oval, hingal nako. kaya brisk walking nalang kami ni joy.Ü

kahapon ang astig. coincidentally nagpunta kami kina jeba-- peds, bornok, bugs and luwa. then nagkataon na may reunion din sa bahay nila jeba, so we helped out in grilling some barbecue and hotdogs. basta the day turned out to be so tummy-filling, rather, tummy-bursting dahil sa abundance ng pagkain na dinala ng mga nagreunion doon.Ü nakatulog pa nga ako sa room ni poy sa sobrang kabusugan while they (the boys) were watching interactive drum tutorials. enjoy sila.Ü

ay! how could i forget?!ÜÜÜ we watched kung pow din pala.Ü super funny!!!Ü the movie had lifted a hong kong movie and patched all the scenes up to create one big hilarious movie. nakakatawa talaga yung mga dialogues and yung boses ng dubbers, ginagaya tuloy nila jeba.Ü nako, i think this will be a 1-week craze for them. bentang benta sa kanila, chaka sakin din!

golly, ILC is fast approaching, wla pakong money. i need 1 thou immediately. KAILANGAN KO NG SUGAR DADDY!!!! uy joke yun a!Ü

tagal namang magdownload nitong Power DVD thing nato. inuninstall ko kasi yung dati kong version dito, kaya pala ayaw gumana kasi hindi compatible yung version dito sa XP. 41% complete.Ü yay. just a little over a half nalang!! pag di pa to gumana, LUWA!!! help!!!

teka nga, di ko na matiis eh, i'll take a nap.Ü

pagkatapos makipag-unahan dito sa CTC, sa wakas naka computer nako.

2005-02-02T13:09:00.000+08:00

hello blog! there. nice to see you again. i'll be sharing a lot today.

january 30 was a bomb.Ü it was YFC pre-con day held in the school's cov courts. we represented the whole cluster, WE pertaining to me, thea, jeje, paolo, cacai, bugs, kevin, joy, tintin, and james. we did great, except for the volume. i was surprised almost everyone silnced themselves while we were performing. we were the most "chorale" among all the other contestants-- chorale looking, chorale sounding, chorale everything. the other a capella groups had human beat boxes that made all their songs so "poppy". i never thought we would bag 2nd place because we were just so... different. na-touch ako when bugs texted me about the worship leader citing specifically our performance during the praisefest. the worship leader said that everyone was listening to our song that's why they quieted down.. they were trying to hear us, to listen to us (as i've said, we sang so softly, they could barely hear us..) well, that's what bugs told me. kasi we didn't finish the competition because it was getting late already. bugs wasnt able to come home with us because he was needed sa praisefest.
and..!!! the gag got 2nd place din! o diba? central B's the best!!! all around kami hahaha.. kung hindi lang nadisqualify yung junior basketball team, we might have won another award hehehe
but honestly, it's not about the awards you know.. they'll definitely forget who got which place eventually.. it'd the feeling that you're giving back the gift God has given to you, praising His Name by singing, playing basketball, doing gag shows and everything else you do for Him . nothing is 'just little' when it comes to serving God. if you have done something dedicated to Him, like studying or just helping your friend with his problem, it's definitely a GREAT thing. hayy, i'm getting so deep now, but i think whoever you are who's reading this entry, i know you completely understand what i'm talking about.
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school.

i got my math midterm results yesterday. haha. it's funny how i exceeded my expectations. i thought the highest i was gonna get was 70/200. well it turned out i got 85. haha. still a failure, but i'll keep on trying.Ü our lesson now is much easier than last week's, i hope i'll get through it with a breeze.
nung monday we got to evaluate our inefficient professsor mr. maniac claveria.. hahaha.. i called it Retribution Day. i gave him what he really deserved, at first i thought i was too harsh, but then i realized i wasn't, i was just being true to myself. i even looked at danie's evaluation and found out that she had more grudges on claveria than i had!! the questions went like: what do you like best about your course and your teacher? and danie wrote: Nothing. what do you like least about your course and your teacher? and danie wrote so so many things that were really negative. i wasnt able to help myself, i wrote down, "he's a PERVERT". hahaha. and so a while ago he delivered his lesson like he was so inaapi or somthing like that.Ü karma. (***sings: what goes around, comes around.. what goes up, must come down..ÜÜÜ oh,i love alicia keys)
i didn't attend glee last monday. meron kasi akong ka-glee na masyadong demanding. she asked me to do her a favor, and when i wasn't able to do it for her because of some accident, she got mad at me and didn't even want to believe my story!!! kapal!!! i didn't rehearse not because i'm afraid of her (over my dead body!!), it's because i might not be able to control myself when i see her, coz i know she'll be making a lot of sermon to me (coz she's a lot older than me.) oooh i'm beginning to hate her so!!! sana ma realize nya na makapal ang mukha nya. wish ko lang. siya na nga humingi ng favor tapos feel pa niya magalit?!! aaargh!!! she should even be thankful i agreed to help her! hay Lord ano bang dapat ginagawa sa mga ganitong klaseng tao?!!!

next time!Ü

math frustration. this is CHAOS.

2005-01-26T09:04:00.000+08:00

last monday i got my advisory marks. i got a fucking F in math (since these are MY thoughts, why censor it?). that grade was only based on the first long test, which i failed. but for that one i got an alibi. my stupid professor didn't check the back of my paper, because she said it's her rule that we shouldnt put answers at the back our papers, just unluckily for me, i didn't hear her say that. more than half the weight of the scores was there, and im pretty sure i got most of my answers right. curse her.
..but just last night, i took my math midterm exam. after all the hardwork, pagsusunog ng kilay, pagkakapal ng mukha na magpaturo kay ate pepel ng math, it didn't pay off. God had forsaken me. midterms was just hell. every friggin principle in math combined in all problems. i didn't finish answering them! i'll be lucky if i get a 70/200. i've tried so HARD! i really did.. maybe im really bobo.. i dunno.. now i know how joy felt when she failed her math.. it's really frustrating, getting caught up in all these nonsense numbers, but u just can do nothing about it.
the only nice things that happened to me yesterday were that i was able to eat PLENTY of food, and i was able to pray, by ej's leading. we had a practice yesterday for the pre-con on sunday that's gonna be held here in school. well, it was SUPPOSED to be a practiceÜ (-->woah! that's the first smiley i typed in this entry!) we started with worship-- i just surrendered everything to Him. bahala na si God sakin. it was really wrong for me to say He had forsaken me-- i know He hadnt, and He would NEVER. i just got carried away by my emotions. challenge lang to. i can do this. as long as God is with me, along with my family, and my YFC friends.
another problem. with a grade of F, im afraid my parents wouldnt allow me to attend YFC gatherings for a while. while in the jeepney last night, i thought of renting a dorm near here in school so that i could really concentrate on my studies during weekdays, and i'll go home on weekends to see my family and attend YFC. that's what i was planning. but it's still up to my parents.. renting a dormitory is really costly..

bottom line: COLLEGE SUCKS.

happy, i amÜ

2005-01-23T16:10:00.000+08:00

seems like i cant add any more of the abubot stuff i've been planning on this blog of mine.. i dont know how e!!! oh i'll stop this coñotic english shit.

kwento nalang ako ng mga nangyari kahapon sa aming Cluster gimik. we went to SM Megamall primarily to have our studio picture taking. Freizer's idea, actually. It was a pretty nice idea, though. pag nakikita yung studio pic nung centralb1 before i even became part of YFC naiinggit ako eh, pero i never thought of Freizer's idea. well anyway, it went well naman. we were 29 all in all, which is quite a good number. nahirapan pa nga kami maghanap ng studio eh kasi hindi daw kami kasya, just imagine if we were complete!!! we were lucky enough to be able to get all the shots. kasi dapat we get to choose 3 out of 5 shots, but the cameraman made 7 shots. kaya ang hirap pumili, kasi it seemed na everyone looked nice in all of the pictures!! basta it turned out we got to buy all the shots :D nice memories, yay :D hayy actually excited na talaga ako to get my hands on those pictures!!! oh how i love my YFC family!!! what would i do without you?!

here o, take a look at us!!! we're so happy noh?!!!

mads and i got to stroll together.. and we saw this new bread shop near the ice skating rink. it's called BreadTalk. grabe, nakakainspire talaga!! for your info kasi, mads and i plan to build a bakeshoppe or something of that sort when we grow up.. tas we saw that establishment, sobrang ganda!!! you should take a look at it!!! grabe literally jaw-dropping pag nakita mo. para kaming nakakita ng lalaking nakahubad sa sobrang amazement. hahaha. uy joke lang ha. basta i know that you get what i mean!!! after 10 years, magkaka ganun din kaming bakeshoppe, tapos dun kayo bibili samin ng pastries and bread ha? yay!

nako, math midterms ko na sa tuesday. hirap parin ako. ate pepel! help! ikaw ang savior ko. amazing yung determinants technique ha, i'll really use that sa exams. eek! i remembered, i'm gonna get my advisory marks tomorrow na!!! golly gee! i'm full of D's and F's.. nako, promise ang scary, ano kayang sasabihin ng mga magulang ko? i'll make bawi nalang this next half of the sem. i can do it! yeah! hmm, just as long as i put my mind to it... and to the right person hehehe. who's the right person? a mystery. find out for yourself.Ü

not doing it.

2005-01-14T04:15:00.000+08:00

im supposed to doing my reaction paper about Lam-ang right now when i got linked to this blog thing. some kind of online journal, i come to understand. but i want to make it look nice first before posting my thoughts in. read my mind.. soon.

im thrilled to explore.