hay Lord, ano pa bang kailangan ko gawin?
sinunod ko na sila, hindi na ko magwa YFC, pero bakit andami paring reklamo?
gusto po ba nila na hindi ko na makita mga kaibigan ko?
nag jogging lang kami Lord, tas konting softball. bawal parin bang maglaro?
kumain kami ng breakfast while having a few laughs, ok lang naman po siguro kumain at tumawa noh?
11am po ako nakauwi. maaga naman po diba? not like my 9pm glee club.
all work and no play makes aisha a monster.
grabe Lord, they are being irrational.
as much as im striving hard to understand them, i still cant.
whaaa. i cant believe it. BAWAL MAGJOGGING??!!!
according to my overly sensitive mother, i am AGAIN defying her.
DEFY, DEFY. she's been sooo attached to that word for weeks already.
hayyyy. witness ko si Lord, nagpaalam ako kay lola.
i said that to nanay, but she said that i couldve told her last night about the 'jogging'.
how was i supposed to talk to her? she knew that i was so preoccupied with doing homework last night.
so still, she says: you are DEFYING me.
oooh, i've had enough of that word. it makes me sick.
then she suddenly says: wag ka nang mag aral kung ganyan ka!
what the....?!!!what does studying have to do with jogging, softball, and eating breakfast?
then she says again that i should've just cleaned the house.
okay, point taken. but do i really clean the house? honestly?
you know me well enough to know that the answer's NO.IF i didnt jog with my friends, i wouldnt clean, no, not at all.
cleaning wouldnt even cross my mind.
during THAT early time in the morning, i wouldnt even be up yet! i would just sleep. til 11am. just about time when i had arrived from jogging. or maybe til 1pm.
DEFINITELY LESS PRODUCTIVE THAN JOGGING. i know you're getting my point, so stop thinking that i did something wrong (youre just like my mom, FAULTFINDER!).
dont suck life away from me.
so what do i do now?! just accept the wrong judgements my LOVING parents give me? HELL NO!!!!!
anybody open to the idea of ADOPTION? i'm willing. just get me outta this hell.
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i've just given JEN my responsibility being a chapter head. i'm feeling so guilty coz i feel like im leaving her with so much burden, especially now that ILC's coming and i should be collecting payments to meet tomorrow's deadline. as much as i would want to help, my FREAKY parents just won't let me. Grrrrr.
to my DEAR mandurukot, hustler, mandarambong, magnanakaw, mangungupit, lahat pa ng ibang terms na mag dedescribe sa taong nangunguha ng gamit ng iba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ang sama ng ugali mo!!!! grrr!!! bakit ba parati mo nalang ako tinitira??!!!! IBALIK MO NA CELFONE KO!!!! PARANG AWA MO NA!!! hindi pa nga yan fully paid sa credit card tas kinuha mo na!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yung ni record kong kanta ni alicia keys nung concert niya nanjan!!!! chaka mga pictures ng mga pinakamamahal kong kaibigan!!!! chaka ng mga hamsters!!!! chaka pretty pictures ko!!!!!!!!!! chaka mga messages ng mga magulang ko at mga kaibigan ko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hwaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! have a heart naman!!!!!!!!!! kunin mo nalang wallet ko basta ibalik mo lang yang celfone ko!!!!!!!! gusto mo ulit kunin ID ko?!!!! sige, eto o may bago ako!!!!!!!!!!! sige na ibalik mo na pls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu... :'c
we read this beautiful short story in literature class. i'd like to share it with you. it's sort of a 5-minute read.
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She said that she would dance with me if I brought her red roses," cried the young Student; "but in all my garden there is no red rose."
From her nest in the holm-oak tree the Nightingale heard him, and she looked out through the leaves, and wondered.
"No red rose in all my garden!" he cried, and his beautiful eyes filled with tears. "Ah, on what little things does happiness depend! I have read all that the wise men have written, and all the secrets of philosophy are mine, yet for want of a red rose is my life made wretched."
"Here at last is a true lover," said the Nightingale. "Night after night have I sung of him, though I knew him not: night after night have I told his story to the stars, and now I see him. His hair is dark as the hyacinth-blossom, and his lips are red as the rose of his desire; but passion has made his face like pale ivory, and sorrow has set her seal upon his brow."
"The Prince gives a ball tomorrow night," murmured the young Student, "and my love will be of the company. If I bring her a red rose she will dance with me till dawn. If I bring her a red rose, I shall hold her in my arms, and she will lean her head upon my shoulder, and her hand will be clasped in mine. But there is no red rose in my garden, so I shall sit lonely, and she will pass me by. She will have no heed of me, and my heart will break."
"Here indeed is the true lover," said the Nightingale. "What I sing of, he suffers what is joy to me, to him is pain. Surely Love is a wonderful thing. It is more precious than emeralds, and dearer than fine opals. Pearls and pomegranates cannot buy it, nor is it set forth in the marketplace. It may not be purchased of the merchants, nor can it be weighed out in the balance for gold."
"The musicians will sit in their gallery," said the young Student, "and play upon their stringed instruments, and my love will dance to the sound of the harp and the violin. She will dance so lightly that her feet will not touch the floor, and the courtiers in their gay dresses will throng round her. But with me she will not dance, for I have no red rose to give her"; and he flung himself down on the grass, and buried his face in his hands, and wept.
"Why is he weeping?" asked a little Green Lizard, as he ran past him with his tail in the air.
"Why, indeed?" said a Butterfly, who was fluttering about after a sunbeam.
"Why, indeed?" whispered a Daisy to his neighbour, in a soft, low voice.
"He is weeping for a red rose," said the Nightingale.
"For a red rose?" they cried; "how very ridiculous!" and the little Lizard, who was something of a cynic, laughed outright.
But the Nightingale understood the secret of the Student's sorrow, and she sat silent in the oak-tree, and thought about the mystery of Love.
Suddenly she spread her brown wings for flight, and soared into the air. She passed through the grove like a shadow, and like a shadow she sailed across the garden.
In the centre of the grass-plot was standing a beautiful Rose-tree, and when she saw it she flew over to it, and lit upon a spray.
"Give me a red rose," she cried, "and I will sing you my sweetest song."
But the Tree shook its head.
"My roses are white," it answered; "as white as the foam of the sea, and whiter than the snow upon the mountain. But go to my brother who grows round the old sun-dial, and perhaps he will give you what you want."
So the Nightingale flew over to the Rose-tree that was growing round the old sun-dial.
"Give me a red rose," she cried, "and I will sing you my sweetest song."
But the Tree shook its head.
"My roses are yellow," it answered; "as yellow as the hair of the mermaiden who sits upon an amber throne, and yellower than the daffodil that blooms in the meadow before the mower comes with his scythe. But go to my brother who grows beneath the Student's window, and perhaps he will give you what you want."
So the Nightingale flew over to the Rose-tree that was growing beneath the Student's window.
"Give me a red rose," she cried, "and I will sing you my sweetest song."
But the Tree shook its head.
"My roses are red," it answered, "as red as the feet of the dove, and redder than the great fans of coral that wave and wave in the ocean-cavern. But the winter has chilled my veins, and the frost has nipped my buds, and the storm has broken my branches, and I shall have no roses at all this year."
"One red rose is all I want," cried the Nightingale, "only one red rose! Is there no way by which I can get it?"
"There is away," answered the Tree; "but it is so terrible that I dare not tell it to you."
"Tell it to me," said the Nightingale, "I am not afraid."
"If you want a red rose," said the Tree, "you must build it out of music by moonlight, and stain it with your own heart's-blood. You must sing to me with your breast against a thorn. All night long you must sing to me, and the thorn must pierce your heart, and your life-blood must flow into my veins, and become mine."
"Death is a great price to pay for a red rose," cried the Nightingale, "and Life is very dear to all. It is pleasant to sit in the green wood, and to watch the Sun in his chariot of gold, and the Moon in her chariot of pearl. Sweet is the scent of the hawthorn, and sweet are the bluebells that hide in the valley, and the heather that blows on the hill. Yet Love is better than Life, and what is the heart of a bird compared to the heart of a man?"
So she spread her brown wings for flight, and soared into the air. She swept over the garden like a shadow, and like a shadow she sailed through the grove.
The young Student was still lying on the grass, where she had left him, and the tears were not yet dry in his beautiful eyes.
"Be happy," cried the Nightingale, "be happy; you shall have your red rose. I will build it out of music by moonlight, and stain it with my own heart's-blood. All that I ask of you in return is that you will be a true lover, for Love is wiser than Philosophy, though she is wise, and mightier than Power, though he is mighty. Flame-coloured are his wings, and coloured like flame is his body. His lips are sweet as honey, and his breath is like frankincense."
The Student looked up from the grass, and listened, but he could not understand what the Nightingale was saying to him, for he only knew the things that are written down in books.
But the Oak-tree understood, and felt sad, for he was very fond of the little Nightingale who had built her nest in his branches.
"Sing me one last song," he whispered; "I shall feel very lonely when you are gone."
So the Nightingale sang to the Oak-tree, and her voice was like water bubbling from a silver jar.
When she had finished her song the Student got up, and pulled a note-book and a lead-pencil out of his pocket.
"She has form," he said to himself, as he walked away through the grove "that cannot be denied to her; but has she got feeling? I am afraid not. In fact, she is like most artists; she is all style, without any sincerity. She would not sacrifice herself for others. She thinks merely of music, and everybody knows that the arts are selfish. Still, it must be admitted that she has some beautiful notes in her voice. What a pity it is that they do not mean anything, or do any practical good." And he went into his room, and lay down on his little pallet-bed, and began to think of his love; and, after a time, he fell asleep.
And when the Moon shone in the heavens the Nightingale flew to the Rose-tree, and set her breast against the thorn. All night long she sang with her breast against the thorn, and the cold crystal Moon leaned down and listened. All night long she sang, and the thorn went deeper and deeper into her breast, and her life-blood ebbed away from her.
She sang first of the birth of love in the heart of a boy and a girl. And on the top-most spray of the Rose-tree there blossomed a marvellous rose, petal following petal, as song followed song. Pale was it, at first, as the mist that hangs over the river pale as the feet of the morning, and silver as the wings of the dawn. As the shadow of a rose in a mirror of silver, as the shadow of a rose in a water-pool, so was the rose that blossomed on the topmost spray of the Tree.
But the Tree cried to the Nightingale to press closer against the thorn. "Press closer, little Nightingale," cried the Tree, "or the Day will come before the rose is finished."
So the Nightingale pressed closer against the thorn, and louder and louder grew her song, for she sang of the birth of passion in the soul of a man and a maid.
And a delicate flush of pink came into the leaves of the rose, like the flush in the face of the bridegroom when he kisses the lips of the bride. But the thorn had not yet reached her heart, so the rose's heart remained white, for only a Nightingale's heart's-blood can crimson the heart of a rose.
And the Tree cried to the Nightingale to press closer against the thorn. "Press closer, little Nightingale," cried the Tree, "or the Day will come before the rose is finished."
So the Nightingale pressed closer against the thorn, and the thorn touched her heart, and a fierce pang of pain shot through her. Bitter, bitter was the pain, and wilder and wilder grew her song, for she sang of the Love that is perfected by Death, of the Love that dies not in the tomb.
And the marvellous rose became crimson, like the rose of the eastern sky. Crimson was the girdle of petals, and crimson as a ruby was the heart.
But the Nightingale's voice grew fainter, and her little wings began to beat, and a film came over her eyes. Fainter and fainter grew her song, and she felt something choking her in her throat.
Then she gave one last burst of music. The white Moon heard it, and she forgot the dawn, and lingered on in the sky. The red rose heard it, and it trembled all over with ecstasy, and opened its petals to the cold morning air. Echo bore it to her purple cavern in the hills, and woke the sleeping shepherds from their dreams. It floated through the reeds of the river, and they carried its message to the sea.
"Look, look!" cried the Tree, "the rose is finished now"; but the Nightingale made no answer, for she was lying dead in the long grass, with the thorn in her heart.
And at noon the Student opened his window and looked out.
"Why, what a wonderful piece of luck!" he cried; "here is a red rose! I have never seen any rose like it in all my life. It is so beautiful that I am sure it has a long Latin name"; and he leaned down and plucked it.
Then he put on his hat, and ran up to the Professor's house with the rose in his hand.
The daughter of the Professor was sitting in the doorway winding blue silk on a reel, and her little dog was lying at her feet.
"You said that you would dance with me if I brought you a red rose," cried the Student. "Here is the reddest rose in all the world. You will wear it tonight next your heart, and as we dance together it will tell you how I love you."
But the girl frowned.
"I am afraid it will not go with my dress," she answered; "and, besides, the Chamberlain's nephew has sent me some real jewels, and everybody knows that jewels cost far more than flowers."
"Well, upon my word, you are very ungrateful," said the Student angrily; and he threw the rose into the street, where it fell into the gutter, and a cart-wheel went over it.
"Ungrateful!" said the girl. "I tell you what, you are very rude; and, after all, who are you? Only a Student. Why, I don't believe you have even got silver buckles to your shoes as the Chamberlain's nephew has"; and she got up from her chair and went into the house.
"What I a silly thing Love is," said the Student as he walked away. "It is not half as useful as Logic, for it does not prove anything, and it is always telling one of things that are not going to happen, and making one believe things that are not true. In fact, it is quite unpractical, and, as in this age to be practical is everything, I shall go back to Philosophy and study Metaphysics."
So he returned to his room and pulled out a great dusty book, and began to read.
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hayy, see what love can do? love requires sacrifices. love endures pain. naiyak ako sa story na to eh, kawawa naman yung nightingale.
i feel for the nightingale. it's like letting go of your love for a certain person na may mahal ng iba, making a way for him to be happy sa taong mahal niya. kahit pa hindi ma recognize ng mahal niya yung sacrifices na ginawa niya.
pero pag malaman ko lang na tinake for granted lang siya ng girl na gusto nya tulad ng sa story, nako lang!!! tutukain ko to death yung babaeng yun!!!
hayy, i hope na yung guy, hindi siya unfeeling and insensitive tulad ng student. sana malaman niya na ang love ay hindi lang superficial.
hwaaaattt??!!! kung anu ano na ang sinasabi ko!Ü
not in the mood. good Lord please help me.
problems, problems,, they're everywhere. why can't there be just NO problems?
can someone please, just lecture me about family.
we praise you Jesus Christ, we glorify Your Name. we magnify You, we give You praise. Allelluia. You are our King, our Master, our Everything. We lift Your Name on high. we Love you, Lord. without You, we are nothing.
thank You Lord, for blessing us with each other. thank You, Lord, we are in loss of words.
our cluster's having quite a hard time right now. we are willingly accepting whatever challenges You are giving us now for we know that in Your Masterplan, everything is good.
may we just ask You for Your guidance, that we may follow the path that You have prepared for us. we also humbly ask for Your protection, that we may not cause further pain and burden to each other, and that we may overcome the temptations of Satan.
we have been standing up for You, Lord, but now we are shaken by certain problems, and we will definitely falter without Your presence in our hearts. Please, continue to reign within us, and overpower the evil that might harm us.
we believe that You will not forsake us, Lord. we love each other, God, although above all is our love for You.
we ask all of these in Jesus Christ's name.
Amen.
as of this moment, i am in urgent need of a boyfriend.
gusto ko maexperience yung tinatawag nilang "ROMANTIC LOVE". yung two-way, give and take relationship, ayoko na ng parating one way. sawa na ako. although not really. i still love him, but i'm not expecting anymore. just hoping. love without hope is never love at all.
going back, i need a boyfriend. i mean, i need A BOYFRIEND. no specifics, just someone who'll play that role for me. someone who's literally there, someone who won't go, just there beside me. i am in dire need of company. regular company. i'm not saying i'm not enjoying my bestfriends' company, i just think that having a boyfriend is really different.
and now i blame the glee club for making me feel this way. we've been rehearsing totally mushy love songs for more than a month now, for our upcoming concert on friday. songs like "kay tagal", "sana maulit muli", "minsan pa".. they dig in deep like hell. the more i sing, the more i get hit, and all the more my 'desperation' grows. eek. maybe you're thinking that i'm liking the feeling, fyi, i'm not.
if i had a genie i would definitely ask for a boyfriend. i feel so empty without one, although i shouldnt be feeling this way. i dunno, it's just that i see my friends' lives progressing 'romantically', and they seem so happy to me.
i think im gonna be single forever. no one's gonna attempt to court me and i'll become an old maid. oh no. before, i imagined myself to be single forever, and i liked the thought of it, but eversince i became a YFC my way of thinking was changed, and i suddenly wanted to have a family of my own. i never anticipated back then that being single would be THIS lonely.
yeah, yeah, i know i'm still young and all to think of "single-blessedness" and marriage and family, and it's sort of "FAR from the NEARest future", and that things can change and happen in just days or even seconds.. pero ewan ko. it sort of matters to me this time. at this very moment. pero most probably mamaya iba na ang nasa utak ko.
what's wrong with me ba? am i really not like-able? or does it all really go down to physical attraction? ganun na ba talaga ang mga lalaki ngayon? parati nalang nakatingin sa physical attributes ng babae? napaka superficial? yun nalang ba ang tingin ng men sa women? just mere beautiful items? not even paying attention to what's within? nako ibang issue na to. pang next entry sa blogÜ
clarification: i am absolutely NOT LOOKING for a boyfriend. i am just recognizing my need for one right now. i may not need a boyfriend later.Ü
click on the thumbnail for further details. u can buy tickets from me, it's only for 50 pesos. comment if interested. thanks.Ü
inaantok ako.. ang aga ko kasi nagising kanina, si peds kc eh. 4am ba naman ako gnising. anyway i had fun jogging with him, deo, joy, jeba, bugs and gino naman eh. in fairness kinaya ko na magising ah! the heavy exercise induced my monthly period. yeah. it's not even monthly. like twice-a- yearly. i'm definitely abnormal!!Ü ...di ko nakumpleto ang isang lap eh, mga 2/3 palang ng oval, hingal nako. kaya brisk walking nalang kami ni joy.Ü
kahapon ang astig. coincidentally nagpunta kami kina jeba-- peds, bornok, bugs and luwa. then nagkataon na may reunion din sa bahay nila jeba, so we helped out in grilling some barbecue and hotdogs. basta the day turned out to be so tummy-filling, rather, tummy-bursting dahil sa abundance ng pagkain na dinala ng mga nagreunion doon.Ü nakatulog pa nga ako sa room ni poy sa sobrang kabusugan while they (the boys) were watching interactive drum tutorials. enjoy sila.Ü
ay! how could i forget?!ÜÜÜ we watched kung pow din pala.Ü super funny!!!Ü the movie had lifted a hong kong movie and patched all the scenes up to create one big hilarious movie. nakakatawa talaga yung mga dialogues and yung boses ng dubbers, ginagaya tuloy nila jeba.Ü nako, i think this will be a 1-week craze for them. bentang benta sa kanila, chaka sakin din!
golly, ILC is fast approaching, wla pakong money. i need 1 thou immediately. KAILANGAN KO NG SUGAR DADDY!!!! uy joke yun a!Ü
tagal namang magdownload nitong Power DVD thing nato. inuninstall ko kasi yung dati kong version dito, kaya pala ayaw gumana kasi hindi compatible yung version dito sa XP. 41% complete.Ü yay. just a little over a half nalang!! pag di pa to gumana, LUWA!!! help!!!
teka nga, di ko na matiis eh, i'll take a nap.Ü
hello blog! there. nice to see you again. i'll be sharing a lot today.
january 30 was a bomb.Ü it was YFC pre-con day held in the school's cov courts. we represented the whole cluster, WE pertaining to me, thea, jeje, paolo, cacai, bugs, kevin, joy, tintin, and james. we did great, except for the volume. i was surprised almost everyone silnced themselves while we were performing. we were the most "chorale" among all the other contestants-- chorale looking, chorale sounding, chorale everything. the other a capella groups had human beat boxes that made all their songs so "poppy". i never thought we would bag 2nd place because we were just so... different. na-touch ako when bugs texted me about the worship leader citing specifically our performance during the praisefest. the worship leader said that everyone was listening to our song that's why they quieted down.. they were trying to hear us, to listen to us (as i've said, we sang so softly, they could barely hear us..) well, that's what bugs told me. kasi we didn't finish the competition because it was getting late already. bugs wasnt able to come home with us because he was needed sa praisefest.
and..!!! the gag got 2nd place din! o diba? central B's the best!!! all around kami hahaha.. kung hindi lang nadisqualify yung junior basketball team, we might have won another award hehehe
but honestly, it's not about the awards you know.. they'll definitely forget who got which place eventually.. it'd the feeling that you're giving back the gift God has given to you, praising His Name by singing, playing basketball, doing gag shows and everything else you do for Him . nothing is 'just little' when it comes to serving God. if you have done something dedicated to Him, like studying or just helping your friend with his problem, it's definitely a GREAT thing. hayy, i'm getting so deep now, but i think whoever you are who's reading this entry, i know you completely understand what i'm talking about.
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school.
i got my math midterm results yesterday. haha. it's funny how i exceeded my expectations. i thought the highest i was gonna get was 70/200. well it turned out i got 85. haha. still a failure, but i'll keep on trying.Ü our lesson now is much easier than last week's, i hope i'll get through it with a breeze.
nung monday we got to evaluate our inefficient professsor mr. maniac claveria.. hahaha.. i called it Retribution Day. i gave him what he really deserved, at first i thought i was too harsh, but then i realized i wasn't, i was just being true to myself. i even looked at danie's evaluation and found out that she had more grudges on claveria than i had!! the questions went like: what do you like best about your course and your teacher? and danie wrote: Nothing. what do you like least about your course and your teacher? and danie wrote so so many things that were really negative. i wasnt able to help myself, i wrote down, "he's a PERVERT". hahaha. and so a while ago he delivered his lesson like he was so inaapi or somthing like that.Ü karma. (***sings: what goes around, comes around.. what goes up, must come down..ÜÜÜ oh,i love alicia keys)
i didn't attend glee last monday. meron kasi akong ka-glee na masyadong demanding. she asked me to do her a favor, and when i wasn't able to do it for her because of some accident, she got mad at me and didn't even want to believe my story!!! kapal!!! i didn't rehearse not because i'm afraid of her (over my dead body!!), it's because i might not be able to control myself when i see her, coz i know she'll be making a lot of sermon to me (coz she's a lot older than me.) oooh i'm beginning to hate her so!!! sana ma realize nya na makapal ang mukha nya. wish ko lang. siya na nga humingi ng favor tapos feel pa niya magalit?!! aaargh!!! she should even be thankful i agreed to help her! hay Lord ano bang dapat ginagawa sa mga ganitong klaseng tao?!!!
next time!Ü