as of this moment, i am in urgent need of a boyfriend.
gusto ko maexperience yung tinatawag nilang "ROMANTIC LOVE". yung two-way, give and take relationship, ayoko na ng parating one way. sawa na ako. although not really. i still love him, but i'm not expecting anymore. just hoping. love without hope is never love at all.
going back, i need a boyfriend. i mean, i need A BOYFRIEND. no specifics, just someone who'll play that role for me. someone who's literally there, someone who won't go, just there beside me. i am in dire need of company. regular company. i'm not saying i'm not enjoying my bestfriends' company, i just think that having a boyfriend is really different.
and now i blame the glee club for making me feel this way. we've been rehearsing totally mushy love songs for more than a month now, for our upcoming concert on friday. songs like "kay tagal", "sana maulit muli", "minsan pa".. they dig in deep like hell. the more i sing, the more i get hit, and all the more my 'desperation' grows. eek. maybe you're thinking that i'm liking the feeling, fyi, i'm not.
if i had a genie i would definitely ask for a boyfriend. i feel so empty without one, although i shouldnt be feeling this way. i dunno, it's just that i see my friends' lives progressing 'romantically', and they seem so happy to me.
i think im gonna be single forever. no one's gonna attempt to court me and i'll become an old maid. oh no. before, i imagined myself to be single forever, and i liked the thought of it, but eversince i became a YFC my way of thinking was changed, and i suddenly wanted to have a family of my own. i never anticipated back then that being single would be THIS lonely.
yeah, yeah, i know i'm still young and all to think of "single-blessedness" and marriage and family, and it's sort of "FAR from the NEARest future", and that things can change and happen in just days or even seconds.. pero ewan ko. it sort of matters to me this time. at this very moment. pero most probably mamaya iba na ang nasa utak ko.
what's wrong with me ba? am i really not like-able? or does it all really go down to physical attraction? ganun na ba talaga ang mga lalaki ngayon? parati nalang nakatingin sa physical attributes ng babae? napaka superficial? yun nalang ba ang tingin ng men sa women? just mere beautiful items? not even paying attention to what's within? nako ibang issue na to. pang next entry sa blogÜ
clarification: i am absolutely NOT LOOKING for a boyfriend. i am just recognizing my need for one right now. i may not need a boyfriend later.Ü
snoozed at2/09/2005 08:38:00 AM .